


Distraction (abandoned fic)

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Bad Puns, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay Keith (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hunk & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Korean Keith (Voltron), Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Latino Lance (Voltron), M/M, Minor Allura/Shiro (Voltron), Minor Hunk/Shay (Voltron), No Angst, No Smut, POV Keith (Voltron), Protective Shiro (Voltron), Romantic Comedy, Sassy Pidge | Katie Holt, Sharing a Bed, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, klance, lanceisayoutuber, mostlyfluff, okmaybesomeangst, shallura - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-04 20:58:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10998867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Still weary, Keith made his way to the front door in search for answers. He could hear someone humming on the other side, which was deeply unsettling, for some reason. Bracing himself, he slowly turned the handle and pushed.He found a pair of bright blue eyes and a dazzling smile staring back at him."Keith is just living his life normally as a college dropout, not really expecting anything special or exciting to happen. That is, until one fateful day at work he meets someone who can't stop babbling about how he needs his help to escape from a herd of teenage girls... Little does he know that said person is also his new roommate.





	1. Meeting and Escape

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooooo dear reader! My name is pinkegg and I'd like to sincerely thank you for giving this fic a chance! I've still got a lot to learn and I've barely started, but it would mean the world to me if you let me know your thoughts- even if you do not like the story!- so I can improve this experience for all the people that are interested in it and develop my skills.
> 
> If you like it, then please let me know by leaving a comment, kudos or bookmark! And if you want to see some fanart based on this, please encourage my ridiculously talented little sister! (seriously, she's not even started highschool yet and she still draws a million times better than I do)
> 
> Again, thanks for reading! I hope you decide to stick by!
> 
> -pinkegg

It was 8pm on a Friday, and Keith was _not_ having a good day.

He was tired, uncomfortable and 3 hours away from the end of his shift, all thanks to his stupid manager who had decided hosting a book signing event would be good advertisement. He had gotten excited when the news first broke out, fantasising about the famous author he would get to meet and assist; only to be extremely disappointed when he found out it was another Youtuber.

It wasn’t that Keith hated Youtubers, or the internet at that; but he was convinced that they were extremely overrated and famous only because of their sheepish, loyal-to-the-death fans. His theory had been proven right on countless occasions, where he had seen them shriek and weep at the feet of their adored idols from up close. Keith was (since there wasn’t a nicer way to phrase it) a college dropout who had absolutely no idea of what to do with his life. In the meantime, he’d taken a job at his local bookstore, one of the few places that inspired calm and safety in him. Calm and safety except for those moments of pure agony, pushed and shoved carelessly among the crushing waves of hot-blooded fans, who didn’t seem to notice, or rather, care about the piles of carefully stacked books they knocked down or the frightened gazes of regulars. So, needless to say, Keith hated working at Youtuber events.

However, today was unheard of. The guy signing came in late, yet that didn’t stop an absolutely unreal queue from forming to the point where it clogged the streets and went around the corner. The moment Keith laid his eyes on it he was terrified to go inside, and as soon as he opened the doors his fears were confirmed. “Why do I always have to be right?” he groaned. He strode in, bracing himself for a very, very long day.

The guy signing was devilishly handsome, Keith had to admit, but that was no excuse for him also being awfully stuck up and, well, just plain FLIRTY. To each fan he dedicated a cheesy grin and equally cheesy pick-up line, and somehow (Keith still struggled to comprehend) they swooned over him.  
“You must be Australian, ‘cause you meet all of my _koala_ -fications” he heard him say not once, twice, but five times in total throughout the night. ‘Oh Sweet Mother of God, please let this end soon’ he pleaded, bringing up a heavy brown box and letting it down with a grunt.

Although he usually tried to mask his emotions in public, he let a grin spread across his face when the clock struck 10. “Just one more hour to go!” he told himself, getting his motivation back after his 5-minute break. He headed towards the back door, but didn’t make it.

Something yanked at his shirt and made him plummet backwards, sending his heart racing with adrenaline- that is, until his head hit a brick wall, which pissed him. Now that he was facing his attacker, Keith focused on immobilizing him, and succeeded, gaining a choked cry from the figure writhing at his feet. Satisfied, he held him there a little longer, just to remind him not to mess with him. He felt grateful for having taken karate and put effort into the one-to-one combat training at the Garrison, even if he hadn’t finished the course. Having grown without family, he’d always been a hard worker, mostly because he needed to. Sometimes he liked the freedom he had, which had led him to be stubborn in his decisions, but he also felt the weight of loneliness on his shoulders and thought of how nice it would be to have a family, to have help and protection and something to come home to. Since he didn’t have that, Keith had grown used to building his defences, so he could fend for himself from ominous hooded criminals such as the one currently under him.

“Dude, dude, relax, it’s me!” a familiar voice whispered. Still not letting his guard down, he took them under the closest bulb so he could see his face, although judging by the voice it was a young male, and therefore most likely incapable of hurting him. He saw first the mane of brown, ending at the nape, and the slightly tanned skin. By this point Keith was almost sure that it was the Youtuber, but he looked anyway and found the handsome complexion he’d expected, eyebrows furrowed in either confusion or worry. Or both.

Keith finally let him down, his shoulders doing the same although he hadn’t noticed they were tense to begin with. As empowering as hand-to-hand combat was, he also liked to have his moments, and being assaulted was preferably not on the list. He looked again at the guy, wondering what he wanted.  
“You could have just-”  
“Sorry, man, no time to waste!” the stranger interrupted, his movements rushed and anxious as he dragged Keith further away from the door. Keith strongly considered giving him a nice kick, resenting being shoved around, but chose not to when he saw the panicked gaze reflected in those blue eyes. Something was wrong.

“Hey, can you at least stop for a minute and explain?” he demanded, getting impatient. At last, the guy seemed to listen to him.  
“Sorry, my bad” he apologised, eyes finally resting on Keith. “I know we’re total strangers and getting grabbed out of the blue in a dark alley isn’t the best first impression, but I’m kind of desperate and since you work here you’re my best bet” he said, clearly troubled.

Keith paused, weighing his options. Despite the guy’s explanations, the whole thing didn’t stop being sketchy, and Keith’s policy was to avoid sketchy situations altogether. A part of him told him to run the fuck away from this weirdo, to forget him and just finish his work; but the blue eyes focused on him seemed so honest, so truly desperate his resolve faltered and he allowed himself to make an exception.  
‘It’s not like it’s going to change anything’ Keith thought with a shrug, unaware of what was in store for him.

“Fine” he said, pouting and crossing his arms. “But I’ve got to be back in five, okay?”  
Keith knew he was being harsh, but this seemed like more than enough to the stranger, whose eyes lit up like a blue fire.  
“Thank you so so much” he said, looking up to Keith almost like he was a God (which Keith didn’t dislike too much, since he was not used to getting attention and the guy was kinda cute). “Please, just get me the hell out of this place- I won’t last long, I need to get away from them” he continued, hurry in his voice. He sounded like a madman, mostly because he hadn’t said what he was running from.

“Who’s.. them?” Keith asked meekly, expecting to find definite proof that aliens were indeed real. Not uttering a word, the guy looked over to the store and raised his head towards it, as if he was too afraid to speak. Keith struggled for a moment, but sadly, the pieces fell into place far too easily.  
“You mean to tell me… That you’re running from your fans?” he asked, the suggestion almost too ridiculous even for a conspiracy theorist. Surprisingly, the Youtuber nodded fervently.  
“Don’t be fooled” he warned, eyeing behind them to check if they were being followed. “under the kitty socks and frilly jackets loom vicious beasts. Enthusiastic, boy-crazy beasts” he specified, wanting Keith to make the connection between them and his model-like body.

Keith frowned. “Why would they be after you though?” he wondered, unaware of the harsh blow he’d sent. Soon, though, he was taken aback by a dramatic gasp.  
“Are you implying what I think you’re implying?” the guy imploded, apparently forgetting his momentary anxiety. “I’ll let you know that back at my highschool I would have to take a freaking BASKET in St.Valentine’s just to carry my admirer’s offerings”. Keith hardly believed this, but the guy continued.  
“And Kesha told me I had defined cheekbones!” he claimed, giving Keith the impression that this was a big deal (although he had no idea about who this ‘Kesha’ person could be).

Keith struggled to find the right answer.  
“Uhhh.. is that a good thing or a bad thing?” he asked tentatively.  
“Good thing, obviously!” the guy imploded as if it was a sin not to know, which bugged Keith before he remembered that he was talking to a huge narcissist. “But in this case, reaaaally bad” he added with a shudder. “The last time I hosted one of these Michael ended up getting torn to shreds. He got stitches all along the arm, and some in the lower back, too”.  
“Holy quiznak” Keith whispered, entranced by the story. “I thought you were just being overdramatic” he admitted, to which the guy brought a hand to his chest. “But I see now how serious it is” he continued.  
Besides, it made sense. Keith was just a random worker and yet he usually ended up with bruises after these, so what would happen to the Youtuber, who was the recipient of all, who was the one thing that united them? He imaged Michael, just a casual friend there to accompany him; and a crazy fan, blinded by jealousy as she pulled out a knife…

“I’m going to get you out of here” Keith said, firmly holding the guy by his shoulders. He may keep himself to himself, but he was not as cruel as to leave a poor guy to die. Besides, he was starting to become less of a stranger and more of an acquaintance, and once Keith got to accept people he grew incredibly fond of them, which was why he pushed them away in the first place.  
“Thanks” the guy smiled, speaking in a much softer voice. Keith smiled back.

“There he is!” a female voice yelled. She hadn’t even finished the sentence when Keith saw the panic reflected in the Youtuber’s eyes. He tensed up like he’d just received an electric shock, and Keith realised it was up to him to bring him out of it.

Not thinking twice, he grabbed his companion’s wrist and pulled him towards a narrow alley to their left, a route Keith knew was dark and reeking of piss but one that could cause a congestion of teenage girls, hopefully gaining them some time.  
“Okay, if you want to get out of here alive just shut up and trust me” he said, assuming he was being listened to. He couldn’t check even if he’d wanted to, all of his mind’s resources focused on getting out and staying on their feet.  
“We’re going to have to take a lot of turns” he continued, speaking louder over a chorus of terrifying shrieks. “Whenever we’re just about to do so I’ll yell the direction, so stay focused and don’t let go of my hand, just in case” he commanded.  
“Okay” he heard back, and for a moment Keith was surprised at how he’d offered no resistance at all and instead trusted him instantly and whole-heartedly.  
‘No wonder people abuse him’ he thought, feeling sorry for the guy. Then, he thought of how moving it was that he trusted him, but refused to dwell on it.  
‘A social person like him probably trusts everyone, especially if he’s being chased by several hundred girls. This doesn’t mean anything’ he noted.

And yet, apart of the fear of getting caught, Keith was having a good time running with this guy he’d just met, united against a common enemy. They moved like one, Keith shouting “left” or “right” occasionally, although he was beginning to think he didn’t need to, since the guy timed his turns to perfection despite not actually knowing when they would do so. Although they were not speaking, Keith felt insanely connected to the stranger, or at least to his attitude in battle. Soon they both sped up their game, actually knocking down obstacles as they progressed or taking false turns.

“Did you really have to flatter them with pickup lines though?” Keith grunted as he knocked down a yellow trash can.  
“I have to appease them!” the guy justified himself. “Some of them travel days to see me! And anyway, it makes them feel more comfortable about meeting me. It’s way better than awkward small talk”.  
“I’m pretty sure you put off more than you charm” Keith joked. Internally he appreciated the guy’s consideration, but there was no he way he was saying that out loud.  
“Hey!” the other cried. “I’m literally the Master of Charm. Even as a child I’d get my cheeks pinched by grannies. I even chose a Charmander, for God’s sake! And I could barely write!”  
Keith would have smiled at that. Instead, he rolled his eyes at the awful pun and did some quick maths. Pokemon came to the USA in 1998, and the guy had said he could barely walk, which meant that he was probably around the same age as him. Other people would have just asked, but Keith didn’t want to appear as if he was interested. Not getting interested was better for him anyway, he thought.

There wasn’t much time to think about it, though, seeing that the girls were not far behind.  
“How are they even so fit?” Keith gulped, wiping the sweat from his forehead.  
“Clearly they’ve mastered the art of waiting in line for hours at events like these” the guy answered. “And many of them are also into boy bands, which adds several weekends of camping for the tickets to their experience. Can’t say I’m not guilty of that, though. Shakira deserves everything”.  
“Now’s really not the moment to chat about Shakira!” Keith scolded him, although he was secretly pleased to maintain a conversation.  
“Oh my, someone’s _rabiosa_ ” the guy said jokingly in a perfect accent. He could speak spanish??? This guy was a box of surprises. Not that Keith cared, but still, that was impressive.

“There! A taxi!” he said, pointing in front of them.  
Keith’s heart sank in disappointment. He had no intention of meeting with him again, but it had been a while since he’d had as much fun, the danger looming behind them only adding to the thrill. He knew it had to end, though.

They reached the vehicle and the guy burst in, looking up to the driver like he was freaking Maddona herself (if Maddona had a scrawny beard and was expecting twins), which really freaked him out. Keith laughed at that, and oh god how long at it been since he laughed with a stranger? He was now getting slightly sad that he had to go, but could do nothing as he saw the guy fasten his seatbelt.  
“I guess I’ll see you later” Keith lied, knowing that he was probably never going to see him again. He still couldn’t figure out why it bothered him that much when he had barely spent 15 minutes with this person.  
“Take care” the guy winked, and with that he shifted to the driver and they were gone, the taxi getting smaller and smaller from where Keith was standing until he lost it between the traffic.

Keith stood there glued for a moment, then resigned and started walking back to his job, where he belonged. He tried not to feel as if he’d done a mistake letting the guy go, but what could he have done? For starters, he realised, ask for his freaking name!  
“I’m an idiot” he growled, thinking of a face he didn’t have a name for.

His sulking was cut short by an army of soaked, fiery teens burning with hate and disappointment, ready to take it out on Keith.  
“Oh, quiznak” he muttered, right before they landed the first punch on him.


	2. The dawn of a new day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermatch of Keith's fight with Lance's fans. Basically some deep thoughts from Keith and a huge fight over pancakes. Don't ask, just read.
> 
> BTW there's someone arriving so stick until the end

He woke up the next morning to the smell of pancakes and maple syrup. 

 

“Bless you, Hunk” he thought as he squirmed away from the sunlight on his face, forgetting about his bruises and cuts before he winced. Oh, that’s right. He’d really gotten his ass kicked by an angry group of teenagers last night.

 

His downcast eyes fell to the mattress, not because he felt humiliated (since there was power in numbers) but because of how alone he’d felt in the middle of it, only capable of scrunching into a ball as he was showered with kicks, blows and insults. He knew it was very unlikely, but he’d waited for someone to come, to stop it and care for him. Of course, that didn’t happen. He had few friends who actually cared for him and they were all far away from this part of the city.

 

Keith’s expression turned into a scowl. He hated violence. Sure, if a jerk was trying to abuse him he was more than willing to shut him up with a light punch, but he strongly disliked using violence to establish a difference between ‘strong’ and ‘weak’, and especially when it was used to show hate.

He knew the feeling better than anyone. After all, he was gay.

 

He’d always been gay, as far back as he could remember. Growing up with extremely aloof foster parents for most of his life he didn’t know it was not normal until several years later, when he entered high school. After slowly gaining confidence and fighting his doubts, he’d gathered the courage to come out publicly. He’d been close to doing it, he really had. He still clearly remembered the gut-wrenching feeling he’d felt those last days. But then,  _ that  _ happened… So nobody knew. Not even Pidge and Hunk, nor Shiro, who was the closest thing he had to a family. And Keith wasn’t willing to risk it.

 

He shook his head. He was not in the mood for revisiting painful memories this early in the morning, and even less if there were pancakes waiting for him.  _ Hunk’s  _ pancakes. He let his animal instincts on autopilot, drawing him towards the sweet smell; got out of bed and headed towards the kitchen, where he was greeted by probably the only two youtubers he actually liked.

 

“Morning, buddy” the bigger one said, flipping perfect golden disks with a captivating rhythm. He was capable of making anything, and the reason why their diet didn’t constitute of entirely leftovers. Keith was pretty sure without him they would have died several months ago.

“Morning, Hunk” Keith croaked as he made his way to the table, his throat still scratchy from sleeping.

“Whoa!” his other roommate chirped in, forever observant. “What happened to you?” she asked, tracing one of the countless scars Keith bore on his arm. Others would have considered her as being nosy, but Keith knew that she was just really concerned. Pidge may be a natural talent at all things science, but she had a caring heart and a soft spot for her family. 

“I got mauled by an army of teen girls because I helped the guy they were after escape” Keith briefly explained in a sleepy tone, not bothering to lift up his head from the hard surface. He’d hoped to avoid attracting interest so he didn’t have to retell the story, but all hope was lost when Pidge almost jumped out of her chair, eyes wide in disbelief.

“You got WHAT??” she exclaimed,  _ much  _ louder than necessary. She leaned forward and placed her hands on the table, fixing a commanding gaze on him. “Keith, you better start talking right now! And don’t leave out a single detail!”

 

Oh boy. Past this point there was no way out. He tried to think of ways to wriggle free of Pidge’s interrogation. Thankfully, Keith had improved his defences over the time they shared a flat. Even if he did end up spilling the beans, he’d learnt several tricks to delay that.

“Can’t we first eat the pancakes?” he suggested innocently, knowing that Pidge couldn’t bring herself to skip breakfast.

She was too smart not to notice, but her stomach grumbled in anticipation. 

“Ok..” she gave in.  _ Yes! _ “But you’re wrong if you think you’re getting away without telling me!” she threatened, putting a napkin on her collar.

“You mean  _ us _ !” Hunk added from the back of the kitchen, making Keith’s jaw drop wide open in shock.

“Not you too!” he complained. He was starting to have second thoughts on his living arrangements. “Anyway, do you guys think I should treat these?” Keith changed the subject, pointing at his bruises and cuts.

Pidge leaned closer to inspect them properly, squinting her eyes like a detective.

“They don’t seem to be very deep, but it would be safer to clean them just in case” she concluded. She sounded so professional it was easy to forget they were talking about cuts. Pidge had this talent. “But for now, Hunk and I have been studying and applying the science of pancakes for about 6 hours, so we’ve basically achieved perfection. We’re thinking of experimenting more with the Maillard reaction though” she said, adjusting her glasses.

Keith just gaped back at her, trying to figure out how it was possible that someone would voluntarily dedicate 6 hours of their life to studying  _ pancakes. _

“You guys are the biggest nerds I have ever met” he said pitifully, trying to prevent a smile from creeping up his face. “What kind of sadist applies science to  _ breakfast _ ?” 

“Uhh, only the ones who eat the  _ best _ pancakes!” Hunk replied, carrying a plate of the most gorgeous sample Keith had ever seen.

“I’m willing to not press on that” he muttered in the tiniest voice, taking in the smell in its most intense form. He hadn’t realised how hungry he was until now.

 

His hand moved on its own, reaching for the golden pyramid of bliss but too slow for Hunk, who dived in out of nowhere and stole the beautiful sight from him, holding the plate above his head.

“But fiiiirst, you gotta tell us what happened yesterday” he gleamed mischievously, backed up by an extremely evil grin from Pidge.

Keith just stood there for a second, frozen in place. Then the anger flushed over him in a wave, blinding him with the need to kick his roommates’ ass and take back what have been within his reach five seconds ago. 

“You guys are the _ worst _ ” he declared, bitter over his loss. His anger left him as soon as it had come, and soon Keith was just a hopeless weakling with a growling stomach. His willpower faltered, and he stumbled to his left. He hated being reduced to this, but damn, those pancakes smelled so good! He tried shooting a pleading look at Pidge, who just raised an eyebrow and tapped her foot, expecting. Hunk looked like he was trying not to laugh, which Keith did not appreciate nor understand. He just. Wanted. Pancakes. Fluffy, warm pancakes...

Quiznak.

 

“I give up” he let out, unable to continue. Pidge squealed and sat down, followed by a satisfied Hunk. “That was cruel and unnecessary, and I’m moving out tomorrow” he said, crossing his arms and directly uncrossing them to grab his serving.

“What? You wouldn’t!” Hunk exclaimed, offended. “Not when we got a new roomie coming in today!” Oh. He’d forgotten about that.

“And besides” Pidge chirped in. “You’d end up an outcast living in some hobo’s shack and living off three-day-old cold ramen” she stated in a matter-of-factly way, calmly sipping ginger tea.

“I would not!” Keith argued, feeling his face burn slightly. 

“Yes, you would” Pidge argued back, clearly enjoying teasing Keith. That sadist. “Admit it, you need us and you love us”.

“That is debatable, but I will let it go for the sake of the pancakes” Keith said, unwilling to let go of his pride.

“Guys, you’re forgetting what’s truly important!” Hunk cut in, losing his patience. Two sets of eyes turned to him. “Keith’s story” he stated, determined to find out.

“Hunk, you gossiping traitor” Keith glared at him, trying to come up with a plan. His two friends had cornered him. There was nothing else he could think of, so why not just.. tell them? He could trust them, right? 

 

He shifted in his chair, making himself more comfortable. Two eager figures mimicked him, attentive like children ready for storytime (although this was far from the pleasant stereotype of storytime, Keith thought). He sucked in breath and started retelling. 

“So there was this Youtuber guy doing fan service at the store I worked in and- OH MY GOD IS THAT A CC3D FLIGHT CONTROLLER?” he screamed, pointing in front of him. Both Pidge and Hunk span backwards with the happiest face Keith had ever seen, Hunk yelling “We can build a drone with that!” and Pidge looking like it was Christmas and Santa had just appeared in front of her. Keith took his chance and acted ruthlessly, grabbing his serving and escaping to his room. ‘Not today’ he smirked, locking the door.

 

He was soon blessed with an orchestra of raucous punches on the other side of the door.  

“Keith you bastard!” he heard Pidge curse. “You can’t escape from me forever!”

“Except I can!” he yelled stubbornly, stuffing his face. He didn’t have a fork, but whatever. They had been mean to him and he had his revenge. “You’re gonna wake up the neighbors” he said.

That did the trick. The noise ceased.

 

Keith continued gulping down his pancakes, finally enjoying the peace and quiet. At first he was oblivious, but after several minutes the pancakes turned hard to chew. It was too quiet… He got up and set the plate on the floor. It was then that he saw Pidge clinging on the outside of his window.

 

Panic took over him. 

“What the quiznak Pidgeon you know we’re on a third floor you’re going to get yourself KILLED- you’ve taken your nickname to heart-get inside right this moment- what are you doing please don’t-” he stuttered in a mix of cries and shouts, immediately opening the glass panels and retrieving his friend, not caring at all about the pancakes or the cute guy he’d met last night. The realisation of losing someone dear to him was facing him (quite literally) and he certainly wouldn’t forgive himself for causing a  dear 14-year-old’s death, even if she straddled him to the ground as soon as she was rescued.

 

“I win. Now tell us about last night” she stated calmly, as if she hadn’t just been at the verge of death. And after she had been so reckless over such a little thing, how could he not give in?

*** 

Twenty minutes later, the shock still hadn’t worn off, but Keith had had no choice but to do his best to retell the story to Pidge and Hunk’s liking while trying to leave out any details that might reveal his sexuality. Honestly, he was pretty exhausted after the whole ordeal. He wasn’t used to strong emotions and he felt completely drained both physically and mentally, but this didn’t seem to matter to his friends who still had plenty of questions for him.

 

“So you actually felt a desire to become friends with someone without Shiro’s influence?” Pidge leaned in, actually studying him.

“Like willingly?” Hunk pressed on it. “You- uh- you sure you didn’t hit your head or something?”

“Yes, ok? I did” Keith snapped, irritated at his friends’ reactions. “Now stop mentioning it and let’s pretend it never happened” he said stubbornly, looking away and crossing his arms a “leave-me-the-quiznak-alone” pose. He was already pretty ticked off, not to mention he’d expected a much different reaction. He wasn’t that antisocial. Was he?

 

His train of thought was interrupted by another of Pidge’s questions.

“So… if you somehow got the chance to meet him and talk to him and become friends… would you like that?” she tested the waters. 

Keith withdrew for a moment at the direct approach, suspicious at the awfully specific question, then pushed away the thought.

“I-I-Well, if it’s only hypothetical; I...would” he rambled. “I think so, anyway”.

He instantly regretted his answer as soon as he looked at Pidge’s knowing expression. 

“Good” she spoke, lowering her voice into a creepy tone and sending cold shivers down Keith’s spine.

Pidge only sounded like that when she was keeping a secret. He’d had his doubts since breakfast, but now he was certain that she was planning something. His gaze moved on to Hunk, shamelessly whistling a soft tune with his head prompted up by his arms. 

 

“Guys, what is there that you’re not telling me?” he asked, scanning them both for a lead, a snicker, anything.

Pidge leaned back, her face back to normal. “Well, we could tell him, but what’s the use when he’s so close to finding out?” she reasoned, looking at Hunk, who gave her back a toothy grin.

Keith was losing it. “Find out what? And why are you two conspiring against-”

The bell rang.

“Oh, it seems that our new addition is here early” Hunk noted. “By this point it’s just easier to open the door” he eyed Keith, clearly confused out of his wits.

 

Still weary, Keith made his way to the front door in search for answers. He could hear someone humming on the other side, which was deeply unsettling, for some reason. Bracing himself, he slowly turned the handle and pushed.

 

He found a pair of bright blue eyes and a dazzling smile staring back at him.

"Hi!" he said, looking directly at Keith. "My name is Lance, and I'm your new roommate!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys so first of all thanks for all the love!!! ^^ It's honestly very heartwarming to see your kudos and comments, and it fills me with motivation to write more. I had honestly never expected such a huge response (over 100 hits? whaaaat?)
> 
> Second, I just wanted to note that my usual update days will be Thursdays, although I may not stick 100% to it (such as today, but I just couldn't wait to post it ^^") I know that may not be enough for some people, but know that I spend a lot of time on rewriting and rewriting until I am completely satisfied, which is why I can't update faster.
> 
> Third, I wanted to give you some insight into the future of this fic. This two chapters have mostly been an introduction, but know that fluff WILL come and I already have several drafts full of ideas. I don't know how the rhythm will go, but I'm hoping for something that I'll be able to stretch and stretch, mostly because I want to make Halloween and Christmas specials (yes I'm a holiday addict)
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you stick by!
> 
> -pinkegg


	3. Formal meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith finally meet each other properly, although Keith is freaking out way more than Lance. Some stories on Lance/Hunk/Pidge's friendship and the much-awaited arrival of fluff.

**NOTE: REREAD THE ENDING OF THE SECOND CHAPTER!!! SMALL EDIT**

 Keith chuckled. “As if” he said, appreciating Pidge and Hunk’s joke.

A second glance at Lance’s perplexed complexion let him know it wasn’t a joke.

“Wait… so you’re actually my new roommate?” Keith asked him, puzzled beyond measure. 

“Didn’t I just say so?” he replied, visibly uncomfortable. 

 

They stood in silence for a moment as Keith mentally facepalmed himself. _ ‘Great. Now he must think that I’m nuts or rude’ _ he thought, cringing heavily.

“I...uh... just didn’t think it was for real” he said, instantly regretting it. Why was he being so awkward??

Thankfully, the stranger answered with an equally artless “Oh” which made Keith aware that they were on the same boat.

 

“Anyway, I’m Keith” he said, stretching out his arm in hope of finally greeting him properly. Lance clasped his hand around his in a solid handshake which, to Keith’s surprise, turned out to be quite pleasant. “I never told you my name back when we were running from your fans” he noted.

Lance’s face scrunched into an uncertain furrow. “That was you?” he asked.  _ Oh no he didn’t _ . Keith had never experienced first-hand the feeling of heartbreak, but this was the closest he had ever been and quiznak, it hurt.

“You don’t remember?” he said, spiteful of the hurt in his voice. 

Lance stared guiltily at him “Um...no” he replied. The vibrant blue of his eyes entranced Keith no matter how many times he looked at them, and although he still didn’t know why he had started to suspect it was partly due to how  _ easy _ it was to read them, something that Keith wasn’t used to at all. It was very satisfying, but right now, the last thing he wanted to see in them was honesty.

 

Keith froze, too shocked to care about the still unbroken eye contact. He was able to hold for a couple of seconds, but Keith had never been good at handling his emotions. He knew it was inevitable when they came crashing down.

 

“What do you mean you don’t remember?” he said, flinging his arms angrily. Lance must have been caught by surprise, since he jumped backwards. He really did look genuinely worried. “It was yesterday! We had a bonding moment and I totally saved your ass! How could you not remember the face of your saviour?” he scolded him. 

Lance gave him an apologetic smile. “I have short-term memory loss?” he said, but to Keith it sounded more like an excuse rather than a reason.

“You’re just messing with me” he said, glaring at Lance. He hated it when people tried to make a fool of him, but, since this guy was going to be his roommate, he decided to let it slide. “Can’t you take this seriously?” he asked after letting out a long sigh.

 

He’d hoped taking a mature approach would work, but then Lance quiznaking  _ snorted _ and before he could protest Keith found a long, slender hand in his hair.

“What the-” Keith started, blushing furiously (out of embarrassment or indignation, he couldn’t tell). Lance cut him off.

“Sorry, it’s just that short people are so cute when they get angry!” he beamed at Keith, still petting him like he was a damn dog. He felt his blush deepen, if that was even possible. He was almost certain that it had reached his ears.

“ _ Cute _ ? I’m not cute!” Keith spat, batting the hand away with a challenging glare. That snug attitude was getting on his nerves and Keith was not going to stand still while he was being humiliated. 

 

He reduced the distance between them, but Lance didn’t even flinch.

“You’re lucky I’m holding back because otherwise you’d be pleading for mercy on the floor by now” he threatened, but it still had no visible effect on Lance. What was wrong with this guy? “Plus, you’re barely taller than me!” he argued.

“HA! Only 3 inches at least! I wouldn’t call  _ that _ barely” Lance teased with his hands on his hips, like he owned the place. Keith had tried to be patient, but come on, the guy was asking for it! He went straight ahead for a punch in the stomach but a sharp pain in his shoulder interrupted the motion, making him wince. Immediately, Lance’s ego deflated and he went to assist him.

 

“Whoa dude, overlooking the fact that you were about to punch me- which, by the way,  _ rude _ \- are you ok?” he said, circling his arm around Keith’s torso for support.

“Yeah, it’s just the injuries from fighting your fans” he answered, his shoulder still numb from the pain. He felt Lance’s grip stiffen at those words and looked up.

“But… I thought we managed to escape” Lance muttered in a much weaker voice. “When I woke up I couldn’t find a single scratch on me, and you took a taxi after I left, right?”

“Well, your fans retaliated against me for having helped you leave” he explained. “But really, it’s not that-” He stopped when he saw Lance covering his mouth with his hand, eyes somber and serious. Keith had no idea why, but it felt so… wrong to see Lance like that. He barely knew him, but Lance was supposed to be obnoxious and light-hearted, not  _ this _ , whatever it was.

“Hey” he called out. “You already apologised, and it’s not your fault.”

“Yes it is!” the other spoke sharply. “I should have faced them, even if it meant staying another couple of hours. I didn’t even think about what would happen to you when I left…”

“Neither did I!” Keith said. Sure, maybe Lance hadn’t thought about the consequences, but he was being too harsh on himself. Besides, Keith wasn’t very good at reassuring (or talking in general) and he was beginning to panic.

“Look, I know how the masses can be. And you didn’t mean any harm. Let’s just leave it like that” Keith proposed, trying to avoid any more emotional drama. He hoped it didn’t seem like he didn’t care about Lance’s feelings- he knew he could come off as inconsiderate when he was just extremely self-conscious- but surprisingly, it seemed to work.

“Thanks” he said. “But I’m cleaning your wounds later” he added as he stepped into the house, as if it were the most normal thing in the world to say-which it was NOT, no matter how Lance said it. That simple phrase sent Keith into a full-fledged panic attack.

“You’re doing what?”

 

“Lance! I haven’t seen you in eons!” Pidge interrupted, launching herself into Lance’s arms, who embraced her with the same force and excitement.

“Pidge! How are you doing? Still trying to make pancakes glow in the dark?” he teased her.

“Hey, that was one time and technically it worked!” she argued, slightly annoyed but too happy to be mad at Lance, who threw his head back and let out a laugh. It was a pretty laugh, just like Keith remembered. 

“If earning us a 3 am trip to the hospital is what you call ‘worked’” he answered. Keith wanted to know the story behind it, but he couldn’t even open his mouth before Hunk bursted through, tackling Lance into a crushing hug.

 

“Whoa there, Hunk! You’re going to make me lose my balance!” he said, patting his friend in the back. Hunk pulled away and started apologising.

“Sorry, Lance. I’m just so excited!” he squealed. “You ready for a legendary High School Musical Impressions rematch?”

“You bet I am!” Lance answered with a competitive grin. “But you will never beat my Sharpay”.

Keith was finally able to bring himself out of it and ask.

 

“Excuse me!” he said, raising his voice. Three pairs of eyes turned simultaneously towards him. “Can someone please explain what’s going on?” he asked, pleading. Hunk was the first to answer.

“Well, Pidge is standing by my side, and I’m challenging Lance to-”

“No, I know that Hunk” Keith clarified. “What I mean is why do you already know each other?” Pidge cleared her throat.

“As Youtubers, the three of us met at Vidcon in 2014. Lance gracefully knocked down a bowl of punch onto my head trying to woo a lady (“Who was really into me!”) and he felt so bad he insisted on giving me his t-shirt”.

“The perfect excuse to let everyone have a piece of  _ this _ ” Lance added, sashaying. Pidge looked unimpressed, and slightly annoyed that she had been interrupted.

“Anyway, he spent the rest of the day walking around half naked and we’ve been friends ever since” she finished. Keith smiled. He would have liked to be there- Pidge must have looked hilarious drenched in punch-but there was one more thing bothering him.

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

“Your face when you found out” Pidge stated cooly. 

Yep, he hated these guys.

 

***

He was surprised by how well Lance fit in their small complex. Unlike Keith, who took weeks to feel comfortable, Lance walked in with a smile, took a chair when he needed one, wasn’t hesitant to inspect the contents of the fridge and rant about their poor taste for cheese (he ended up apologising to an offended Hunk for that last one). Keith wished he could be like that.

 

And that was it about Lance. He made you want to know more about him, want to share crude inside jokes with him like he did with Pidge and Hunk. It was definitely Lance who was responsible, and not Keith. Keith just happened to be drawn to Lance. At least that’s what he told himself as Lance pressed a warm hand to his back, gently dabbing a cut with alcohol.

 

“You really don’t have to do this” Keith said, blushing lightly and trying to remember how he’d ended up in this situation. He usually didn’t let anyone touch him, and this was by far more than what he was used to. He should have refused Lance’s offer, even if that meant leaving several cuts untreated.

“I know, I just wanted to apologise. Kind of like ‘Mary Magdalene and Jesus’ style, you know?” Keith frowned.

“But Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, wasn’t she?” he asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Exactly” Lance answered, winking. Keith turned back away from lance before he could see him smiling.

“You’re an idiot” he insulted him, feeling much less awkward than before.

“But you haven’t even heard my Heaven-related pickup lines!” Lance whined.

“I don’t need to to know they’re all going to be terrible!” Keith teased. This was more than enough to make Lance take on the challenge.

“Babe, did you fall from heaven?” he started. “‘Cause you’re an angel.”

“That’s a classic” Keith said. “Hit me with a good one”. Lance snorted, then settled for a more risky option. 

“Angels fall from the sky, I rise from the bottom” he said quietly in Keith’s ear.

“Jesus Christ!” he said over Lance giggling like mad. Eventually, he quieted down.

 

“You know I never meant you to get hurt, right? I’m not as cruel as to use people like that” he said.

“I know” Keith assured him. “You’re so carefree it’s not hard to believe”. He got scared once again that Lance would get offended, but instead he looked relieved at Keith.

“That’s great” he said. “Because I like to record at night and it’s easy to develop a grudge against me for that”. 

That’s when Keith started thinking that sharing a room with Lance was bound to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry if I confused any of you by editing the ending of the second chapter! Truth is, I often edit small words or phrases (such as swear words for quiznak) after I post despite rewriting a lot- I may have a small addiction to making everything as perfect as possible ^^" 
> 
> But hey, fluff is finally here! I have lots of ideas I'm really excited to write about, although I wouldn't mind any suggestions! And as always, thanks so much for the hits, kudos and comments! They really do make my day and motivate me when I hit a dead end.
> 
> See you next week!  
> -pinkegg


	4. I don't like Youtube (but your videos are cool, I guess)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith starts stalking Lance. More pancakes. Honestly I'm sorry half of my fic are pancakes XD

“Lance, if I have to tell you one more time to put your quiznaking cruddy socks in the laundry box, you’re sleeping on the couch tonight” Keith said, feeling no sympathy whatsoever for the boy blinking puppy eyes at him.

“But Keiiiiiiiith, the couch’s all crusty and spikey! It pokes my skin!” Lance complained, running his hand on his smooth arm as the cherished treasure it was. Why he was so invested in taking care of his skin, Keith did not understand nor wanted to.

“That’s because you kept eating popcorn  _ after  _ I told you not to!” Keith howled.  How old was Lance, three? “Seriously, couldn’t you clean up for yourself for once?” 

“Geez, give me a break,  _ mom _ ” Lance said, clearly enunciating that last word while he snarked at Keith. He leaned back again on his bed,spilling a bag of Cheetos  _ directly onto the sheets _ . It was like he was trying to drive Keith insane on purpose. 

“What’s the fun in living with friends if you can’t go a little wild every now and then?” he reasoned in an overly relaxed tone. Keith reached his limit.

 

He ripped the sheets from Lance’s bed with all the force he could have channeled in a punch, ignoring Lance’s surprised grumble as he struggled for balance.

“There’s a difference between ‘going wild’ and being plain disgusting” he said, narrowing his eyes at Lance. “I’m not allowing any of this in my territory. You’re going the floor clean, shower at least once every two days and no crumbs allowed!” he listed while he picked up Lance’s dirty clothes for the last time. Enough was enough.

Lance pouted. “But I like seeing your ass when you bend over” he moaned, making Keith stop dead in his tracks.

 

Keith was infinitely glad that he was not facing Lance, since otherwise he would have been able to see his face blushing as bright as Rudolph’s nose.  He definitely didn’t want him thinking Keith was ‘unable to resist his charms’ or anything like that. Just- What the hell was he supposed to say back to  _ that _ ?? And why had Lance just casually admitted to staring at Keith’s behind like it was nothing to be embarrassed about?

 

He realised he should say something, but before he was able to mumble an awkard-as-quiznak response he was tackled to the ground. That sneaky bastard, using flirty lines to offset the enemy. 

 

He was no match to Keith, though, who overpowered him as soon as he realised he was being attacked. A couple of seconds later the tables had turned, and Keith had satisfiedly immobilised Lance as a punishment for misleading him.

“Seems to me like you can only see the carpet from down here” he taunted Lance, smirking in amusement.

“Oh shut up, Kung Fu Master!” Lance snapped from the ground. “I’ll end your tyrannic regime one day and free all the inhabitants of this apartment from your reign of terror! We will not refrain from Cheetos in bed no longer!” Keith almost snorted at that and released Lance before he started laughing. Lance could get extremely cocky when he made Keith laugh.

 

“Whatever, go get us these” he said, handing Lance a grocery list. That should keep him busy for a while. “I’ll clean the room so you don’t have to deal with it.”

Lance grabbed the list with a smile, and Keith couldn’t help but see two dimples appear on each side. 

“Aw, sweet! Thanks, Keith” he chirped, already putting on his coat. His love for errands was perplexing, but hey- it took work off Keith, and he wasn’t going to reject extra help. 

“Get maple syrup!” Pidge yelled from her room, knowing that Keith was trying to cut her sugar intake.

“I will!” Lance yelled back from the main door, avoiding a smack from Keith. “Okay then, I’m off!” he said, and left an unusual silence hanging in the air.

 

“Let’s get to work!” Keith thought, tightening his ponytail.

 

***

_ This is a bad idea _ . Keith clicked on Youtube. 

_ This is a really bad idea _ . He typed in ‘Lance McClain’. Several thumbnails popped up.

_ This is a horrible idea! _

 

“I know, shut up!” Keith said to nobody. It was a habit he’d developed when he had a bad feeling in his gut. Because screw his gut! Keith wanted to know more about Lance and there was a very obvious way to do so nagging at the back of his mind. He’d just never done so before- not on purpose.

 

The mouse hovered hesitantly over the first video, waiting for an order. On the other side of the screen, Keith was desperately trying not to have a panic attack. 

“This doesn’t mean anything.” he told himself. “It’s compulsory research. About my roommate.”

He stared at the screen with a new determination.

“Doesn’t mean anything” he repeated as he clicked.

 

_ The background shows a simple hotel room in an unknown city. LANCE and PIDGE are sitting cross-legged on a large bed with clean sheets, presumably recently made by the staff. They are both fidgeting or bobbing, trying to contain their excitement. _

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Turning her head sideways)  _ Is it on? I think it’s on.  _ (Jumpcut) _

 

**LANCE**

_ (Boisterous)  _ Helloooo, my beautiful viewers!  _ (Pidge groans, connoisseur of Lance’s ‘charms’)  _ My name is Lance, A.K.A ‘The Tailor’ and today you have the privilege of witnessing the heart-wrenching, touching reunion of two friends whose bond is so pure it cannot be broken by the longest of distances-”

 

**PIDGE**

Lance, we saw each other last month.

 

**LANCE**

_ (Sporting jazz hands)  _ It’s PidgeonPie, what a surprise!  _ (Pidge chuckles as a celebration sound effect plays)  _

 

**PIDGE**

I’m so excited about the shitstorm about to swarm the comments.

 

**LANCE**

_ (Flashing a confident grin) _ That’s the price of teaming up with the best!  _ (Pidge remains unimpressed)  _ Hey, you just said you were excited for it! Isn’t that admitting my greatness even a little bit?

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Seems to consider)  _ Hmmm…  _ (Dry _ ) No.

 

**LANCE**

_ (Faking hurt)  _ And here I thought I was finally starting to get appreciated!

 

**PIDGE**

You’ve always been the biggest Drama Queen, after all.

 

**LANCE**

True. Anyway, what are we doing today, my friend?

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Her face lights up with excitement, one of her rarest expressions) _ We’re having a pancake face-off!

 

**LANCE**

_ (Chuckling) _ I can’t believe you managed to persuade me on this one.

 

**PIDGE**

Oh, Lance. You’re far too easy to persuade.  _ (Lance’s jaw opens in disbelief, but Pidge offers no visible reactions. She’s too used to it)  _ Care to explain the rules?

 

**LANCE**

Of course! _ (He clears his throat)  _ We have a table full of ingredients at our reach, but we may use other options as long as they’re edible. _ (Pidge grins mischievously at this, but goes unnoticed)  _ Then we stop when the timer reaches 20 minutes and-  _  ta-chán!  _ Judgement time!

 

**PIDGE**

And it’s you  _ (points at the camera)  _ who will pick a winner based on fluffiness, colour and taste! Although you’ll have to use your imagination for that last one.

 

**LANCE**

We’ll be sending out the link to the survey on Twitter once we have the finished products, although I think it’s pretty obvious who’s going to win.

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Confident)  _ Is that so?  _ (Leans in)  _ If you’re so confident, why not give a punishment to the loser?

 

**LANCE**

_ (Interested)  _ Like what?

 

**PIDGE**

Three months of editing the winner’s videos?

 

**LANCE**

Deal!

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Grinning) _ You’ve just made the worst mistake of your life.

 

_ A sequence of short clips of making the pancakes follows, showing intense facial expressions worthy of making the cut in a reality TV show, backed up with dramatic, fiery music. It is occasionally interrupted by a rattle sound effect when both Youtuber’s gazes meet- cowboy style. At one point Pidge slowly raises her hand and licks off a dollop of edible glitter, reciprocating Lance’s narrowed eyes and earning a shocked gasp from him. _

 

Keith paused the video, unable to hear it over the sound of his hysterical laughter. Were all Youtube videos this funny? It didn’t help that the same person who had shamelessly licked off glitter from her hand was almost dozing off on the couch one room away from him, still as obsessed with pancakes as she had been back in the day. There was no denying the work and thought put behind the video, though.

‘Maybe Lance’s fame isn’t only due to his looks’ Keith thought. He interrupted his hand from reaching for the keyboard and smacked his forehead instead.

 

‘I do not find Lance attractive’ he told himself. ‘He’s messy, loud and careless’. Last thing Keith needed right now was to develop a crush on his roommate. But that didn’t mean Keith couldn’t find him physically attractive, much less with that dazzling smile of his that always managed to make everyone smile with him, charming dimples and sweet blue eyes-

‘Not cute’ Keith insisted, trying not to tread on dangerous territory, and failing miserably. Thank God he could just focus on the video in front of him.

 

_ (A very messy rendition of Pidge and Lance breathes heavily, holding two plates with what is supposedly the pancakes. Pidge wipes away a line of sweat on her forehead, proud of her work). _

 

**PIDGE**

My beautiful baby is finally complete.

 

**LANCE**

_ (Mildly horrified)  _ What is _ that _ ??  _ (He gapes at a sickly pale yellow blob that looks anything but appetizing)  _ It looks like vanilla ice-cream gone wrong.

 

**PIDGE**

Says the one whose pancake is  _ metallic _ and  _ blue _ .

 

**LANCE**

That’s because I used blueberries and edible pearl dust! What the hell did  _ you _ use?

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Smug) _ Only the coolest of phosphorescent pigments.  _ (She awaits praise, but soon realises Lance doesn’t know what it means. She sighs)  _ It glows in the dark.

 

**LANCE**

_ (Shouting)  _ WHAT? How is that even possible?

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Annoyed) _ I just told you! The pigment stores light and then releases it over a long period of time! Here- see for yourself.  _ (She switches the lights off and true to her word, the pancake glows in a green hue. Lance freaks out) _

 

**LANCE**

Pidge, when you said ‘Pancake Battle’ I was expecting funky colours and maybe some shine, but this??? Is this even edible?

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Switching on the lights) _ Hmmm… It  _ should _ be. At least, it said it was non-toxic. Why don’t you try?

 

**LANCE**

_ (Backs away)  _ Ohhh no no no no no- You are  _ not _ using me as your lab rat. If you’re so sure it’s safe, why don’t  _ you _ try it?

 

**PIDGE**

_ (After a moment of hesitation)  _ Alright. _ (She starts chewing) _

 

**LANCE**

Oh, Quiznak-I just said it as a joke! Don’t actually eat it!  _ (Pidge rolls her eyes)  _ Um… how is it?

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Still chewing)  _ It tastes a little funny… _ (She swallows) _

 

**LANCE**

Pidge, no! Spit it out!

 

**PIDGE**

Come on, I’m fine-  _ (She flops onto the bed.. The video cuts to black. After a couple of seconds, Lance and Pidge both appear in the same setting, same clothes, looking much more scruffy and tense, especially Lance) _

 

**LANCE**

_ (With a certain hostility)  _ You want to tell them what happened, Pidge?

 

**PIDGE**

_ (In a raspy, weak voice)  _ We went to the hospital and I almost had to get a gastric lavage. The doctor said I was lucky to have eaten so little and thrown up fairly quickly.

 

**LANCE**

And what is the lesson?

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Mildly traumatised)  _ Never put weird stuff on your pancakes unless you’re completely sure that it’s safe. Also, non-toxic means it’s safe to touch, not to eat.

 

**LANCE**

Good. And you know what this means?

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Annoyed)  _ Lance don’t you dare-

 

**LANCE**

Since that stuff wasn’t edible and you used it in your pancake, you broke the rules and are therefore disqualified.  _ (Grinning)  _ Which means that I win and you owe me three months of free editing.

 

**PIDGE**

I nearly died! Are you seriously going to make me do this?

 

**LANCE**

Yes, yes I am. A promise is a promise. And bear in mind I have the clip of you coming up with the punishment.

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Crossing her arms and huffing) _ You’re an idiot.

 

**LANCE**

_ (Smiling even wider)  _ Does that mean you’ll do it?

 

**PIDGE**

_ (Pidge groans) _ Whatever, just cut to the outro already!

***

 

Keith stood frozen in the spot, mildly concerned for Pidge despite knowing that she was perfectly fine. This was- what, last year? And Pidge was just fine. Still, that didn’t stop him from reaching to Pidge and giving her a warm hug.

 

“Ermm.. What the quiznak are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m so glad you’re alive, Pidge. Never make glow-in-the-dark pancakes again” Keith said, ignoring her question. A sharp gasp escaped her lips.

“You watched the video!” she exclaimed. Keith didn’t know why she was so surprised, to be honest- it was out in the open for everyone to see. “But wait- isn’t that one of Lance’s videos?” she recalled. Keith immediately realised his grave mistake.

“Uhhh… no it’s not” he said, trying to dissuade her from the idea. It was too late for that, though.

“It _ is _ !” She squealed. Keith broke the hug, trying not to blush. “You’ve never watched one of  _ my _ or  _ Hunk’s _ videos” she noted, smirking and eyeing him suspiciously. Damn her and her ridiculously heightened perception.

“I- Well I thought it would be nice to watch a couple, to uh- gain a better understanding of what you guys do” Keith babbled.

“Awfully suspicious time to get started, If you ask me.” Pidge responded, clearly not buying his lame excuse.

“Well, better now than never” Keith said, turning on his heel and walking as fast as he could back to the dorm. He shut the door a little louder than usual and leaned against it. 

 

“ _ Babo! _ ” he said, smacking his forehead. Now Pidge was going to be keeping an eye on him and ruining all of his chances of friendship with Lance. He eyed the computer and scooted forward to shut it, but stopped. The damage was already done, right? What did it matter if he watched a couple more? 

 

He ended up binge watching all of Lance’s popular videos and nearly broke the computer when Lance came home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-chán is kind of like Voilá in Spanish.   
> Babo is stupid in korean but I'm not korean so please correct me if I'm wrong ^^
> 
> I'm so sorry I made this about pancakes again! I didn't even plan Pidge to be obsessed with pancakes, it just happened! And I don't even eat pancakes that often, I don't know where that came from XD
> 
> I also wanted to note that I update on Thurdays but that's where I live- that is, Spain. So if you are in the USA or Australia or a remote land like that update days may be different for you.
> 
> Like always, thank you for all the love, especially those who stick by! I can't believe the fic is past 400 hits (can you imagine 400 people in real life? That's around everyone in my school?) 
> 
> I'm struggling for ideas so please- leave yours in the comments and again- sorry for making half of my fic about pancakes.
> 
> See you next week!
> 
> -pinkegg


	5. Rotten to the core

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance, Keith, Hunk and Pidge play Cards Against Humanity. (Lots of fluff)

Pidge, Hunk, Keith and Lance were all sitting down at the coffee table, a common meeting spot for the inhabitants of the small complex. It provided them with the steady surface they often needed in all sorts of situations, from secretive midnight snacks to last-minute study sessions, and was perfectly incorporated into their home. Stationed right in its core, one could almost say it was representative of the apartment's heart, where its graceful occupants exchanged feelings of unity and respect in their daily interactions, based on the unspoken etiquette that hung in the air.

"QUIZNAKING MOTHER OF- SHIT- HOLY COW-" Lance hollered, gently rubbing his foot in the place where he had hit the corner of one of its wooden legs. "I swear the designer of this table thought to himself one day: 'Hey, let's wreck some poor broke youngsters' feet!' and created this horrible abomination".

Hunk was quick to answer. "It's not his fault, buddy. You'd probably remain unscathed if it weren't for your habit of rushing to sit down".

"I actually agree with Lance, for once" Keith said, to everyone's surprise. "What? The table industry is a great business opportunity for those who are willing to make the corners sharper and easier to kick accidentally, and therefore a major cause of band aid sales. How could the simple buyer prove that table manufacturers are bribed by band aid factories without appearing delusional? There's clearly a mastermind behind it all".

"And I say that your conspiracy theory is intriguing, but false" Pidge commented, opening a black box.

"It's not merely coincidental!" Keith huffed. "There's a direct correlation between tables sold and band aid sales. Many companies pass high-quality wood as a promise for easy maintenance, but if you think about it, isn't it a health hazard within all of humanity's reach?"

"Buddy, I think that I'd noticed if the table was trying to kill me" Hunk said kindly. "At least your idea will make a great video".

"Whaaat? I was going to call dibs!" Lance whined, scrunching his face into a familiar pout.

"But you didn't!" Hunk chirped sweetly. "Right, Keith?"

"Right..."

He would have given a better answer, but he was too busy screaming internally as the fangirl he’d recently become. And how could he not, when his favourite Youtuber wanted to make a video based on his idea?

A thud in front of him jolted him awake from his daydream and shifted his focus onto two uneven piles of cards next to an empty box.

"Cards Against Humanity?" Keith read from the cover.

"You're a virgin!" Lance gasped, looking wide-eyed at him and sending him into a blushing mess.

"How dare you ask such a-"

"No, not  _ that _ kind of virgin; a 'Cards Against Humanity' virgin!" Lance clarified with a chuckle.

"What is that?" Keith asked, annoyed at the label.

"It's nothing bad, Keith, just someone who's never played the game." Pidge told him, her voice barely audible over Lance getting excited. "Ignore him, he's just happy that we're doing this again".

"Again?" Keith parroted. "If you had this game, why have I never played it with you guys?"

"Nothing personal, Keith" Hunk said. "It's just.. inappropriate, I guess. You'll see. Pidge, want to explain the rules?"

She jumped in straight at her cue, having been waiting for it.

"As you can see in front of me, we have two types of cards: black and white. Black cards have either a question or blanks, and white cards are used to answer them or fill the blanks. A player must always have 10 white cards at the beginning of each round, unless a black card says otherwise. Each round, the Card Czar is designated- usually we rotate in clockwise direction, so each player gets the same amount of turns- and he or she draws and reads a black card. The rest of the players must choose their best card and give it to them upside down. After shuffling them, the Card Czar reads the answers aloud and chooses the one he finds the best. The owner of the card then comes forward and claims his Awesome Point. The person with most black cards wins".

She paused to look at Keith and said: "You'll get the jist when we start playing, but do you understand the basics?", to which he nodded. "Good. Then, let's play!"

She distributed the cards with expert fluidity, making it obvious she'd done it dozens of times in the past. When Keith began reading his cards, he couldn't help but notice that most of them weren't exactly family-friendly.

"Jesus, Pidge, some of these are quite explicit" he commented. "And what the quiznak is smegma?"

"You  _ might _ not want to look it up" Hunk suggested, looking at his own cards.

"Why thanks, Hunk, that does not pique my curiosity at all!" Keith said, huffing. "Now I won't be satisfied until I do!"

It was then that Lance scooted closer to him, clearly with the intention to whisper in his ear.

"Ok, Keith, so if you really want to know... "

Moments later Keith was springing back in his seat.

 

"Oh my God, Lance, that is disgusting!" he exclaimed, appalled.

"Warned you" Hunk said. He went unnoticed by Keith, who continued expressing his distaste to Lance.

"How do you even know that? What kind of weird shit are you into to know that?"

"Hey, I'm not into whatever you're thinking about" Lance said. "It's just a medical term. I-uh- may have had certain problems when I was a kid-"

"Stop-I most certainly don't want to hear about your former lower region."

"I wasn't going to, you idiot. Maybe you should stop assuming stuff about me!"

"Well maybe YOU should stop-"

 

"Guys! Stop fighting!" Hunk interrupted, coming between them. "This was supposed to be bonding time, remember? Not quarrel time! That's a no-no in this appartment!"

"Ugh- fine" Lance scoffed, taking a step back. "But only because I'm about to kick Keith's ass at this game".

“Oh, I’d love to see you try” he challenged, smirking. 

 

Lance turned beet red at that, but Keith was already looking at his cards, so he didn’t notice. However, Pidge and Hunk  _ did _ , and Lance clearly saw them exchange a mischievous grin, followed by sideway glances and suppressed giggles. Knowing exactly what they were thinking about, Lance bent exaggeratedly between them and grabbed a card, blushing up to his ears. 

“First question: ‘What’s that sound?’” he read as loud as he could. Pidge and Hunk exchanged again knowing looks, but soon, three white cards were offered and shuffled by Lance, who proceeded to read them.

 

“Homeless people”. A few snickers came out, but none from his lips. He rolled his eyes at Hunk, who was trying his hardest not to snort, and read the next white card.

“‘The rhythms of Africa’. Ok, not too bad”. He set it aside and picked the last one, but didn’t even get to read it aloud before he was laughing.

“Is he okay?” Keith whispered to Hunk.

“I don’t know!” he whispered back. “Ask him!”

“What? No way, I just challenged him, I can’t be looking out for him!”

“You asked first!”

“Lance, you okay?” Pidge asked, giving the other two a look that screamed ‘weaklings’.

“This one’s my favourite- it’s genius”. He cleared his throat and read: ‘Farting and then walking away’”. 

It was met at the table with more laughter, and interrupted by Keith raising his hand.

 

“That one’s mine” he said, taking the black card from Lance. “You better start catching up, or it seems like someone’s going to be doing laundry for a week”. 

Lance was about to make a comeback, but he stopped himself and hesitated.

“You know, we never agreed to that- but deal. Bring it on, samurai”.

“That’s quite stereotypical” Keith said, smirking.

“Well, we  _ are _ playing an offensive game, after all” Lance smirked back.

“Then you’ll win by a mile”.

“Ughhh guys, could you stop flirting already so we can continue?” Pidge groaned.

“I-uh-what?” Keith stuttered, feeling his heartbeat pick up the pace. Lance was surprisingly quiet, which was unusual, but what was even weirder was that he looked embarrassed, looking at the floor and fidgeting. 

“Never mind” Pidge said, grabbing a black card. “What’s a girl’s best friend?” She waited patiently for the three cards to arrive and read them.

 

“‘Sunshine and rainbows’. I personally find that offensive” she said, pointing at herself.

“‘Emotions’. Oh, fuck off. It’s not my fault you have the emotional range of a teaspoon”. She reached for the third one.

“‘Shiny things’. Alright, this one wins the round, but only because of Allura!”

“Score!” Lance shouted, jumping on his chair and performing an obviously-rehearsed victory dance, rubbing it on Keith’s face (literally, since he was using the black card).

“Why, aren’t you a humble character?” he teased when Lance finally sat down again.

“I try” Lance answered.

“Aaand they’re back at it again” Pidge said, but this time much quieter so only Hunk could hear.

 

They spent the next three hours in intense battle mode (or Lance and Keith did, anyway, since Pidge and Hunk couldn’t be bothered), going through the entire pile of black cards in record time (Lance called Pidge a nerd several times for timing it, to which she kindly responded with a middle finger). Now, at almost 2 am, it was time to win the last card.

 

“Ok, everybody. For this last card, we will play the official Cards Against Humanity Theme Song, ‘A Good Game of Cards’” Hunk said, opening his soundcloud account.

“There’s a theme song?” Keith exclaimed, his jaw dropping open.

“Keith, sweetheart, there’s so much you don’t know about this game” Lance said, organising his cards.

“Please, Lance, I’m positive I have more cards than you” Keith said.

“Then tell me how many!” 

“Laaance…”

“Pleeeeease” he insisted. “ _ Por favor, Keith, dime cuántas cartas tienes _ …”

And of course Keith had quiznaking doubts about Lance, because how did he sound so good in Spanish?

“Uhh… Still not telling”.

“Awww..” Lance moaned. “You’re no fun”.

“Guys, can we just get on with it already?” Hunk pressed.

 

“Alright, here’s the last card: ‘What did I bring back from Mexico?’”

Three white cards rolled in, Lance making sure to give his way slower than necessary, posing dramatically all the while. When it reached the centre of the table Hunk snatched it from his hand, shuffled them and proceeded to read them.

 

“‘Crippling debt’. I don’t know about this one, it doesn’t make much sense when you think about it”. He ignored Lance’s silent fit and moved on to the second card.

“‘A really cool hat’. Uh, excuse me, you must mean  _ sombrero _ ! Kids these days…” Lance had apparently forgotten he was mad at Hunk, because he started nodding passionately at that.

“Okay, last one… ‘AIDS’”. They all burst into laughter, Pidge included. “I think it’s clear who won. And this is..”

“Mine” Keith said, claiming his Awesome Point. “And that makes…  42 out of 90. So I won”.

“How’s that even possible?” Lance asked, clearly annoyed. “It was your first time!”

“What can I say? I’m a natural” Keith said. “You better start doing laundry”.

Lance remained unnervingly silent for several seconds, and then spoke, a glint of idea in his eye. 

“Alright. I’ll start right away” And then he scooped up Keith in his arms and started carrying him like a princess, only he was holding him tightly to make sure he didn’t escape.

 

“What the- Lance, where are you taking me! Put me down!” Keith yelled, trying to squirm free.

“Nu-uh. I’m doing laundry, so I’m taking you to the washing machine~”

“WHAT? Lance, put me down!”

“You played dirty, so now we need to get you clean~”

“That sounds way more sexual than how it should”

“I-what?”

Keith took advantage of Lance’s flustered moment to try and squirm free. However, it shifted their centre of gravity, making them fall.

 

It took them a couple of seconds to realise what had happened, but when they did, they looked into each other’s eyes and started laughing hysterically. Even when they managed to get up, they couldn’t stop laughing, leaning into each other for support and wiping away tears of laughter.

 

“Did you get it?” Hunk whispered to Pidge.

“All of it”.

“They’re going to thank us so much when we show it at their wedding”.

“Totally”.

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY  
> Sorry for not uploading in 3 weeks...
> 
> Okay so the fisrt week I couldn't write because I was out on a school trip, but the second week I pretty much forgot about it. Again, sorry.
> 
> But what do you think about this chapter? I'd been meaning to write it for a while, so I'm pretty excited that it's finally out. I love this game and it's always so fun to play with friends!
> 
> I'll see you next week (this time, for real)
> 
> Bye!
> 
> -pinkegg


	6. Double Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance can't bear to NOT take in the stray kitty he finds, and Keith can't say no to Lance. In return, the new inhabitant of their appartment helps him out by making him accept his big, gay crush- featuring the first feline matchmaker to enter this series!

Although nothing special was said that night, Keith knew something had changed since the night they played Cards Against Humanity. He felt infinitely more comfortable wih his roomates, especially around Lance, who in turn had also made some efforts to get on Keith's good side (he should have done his laundry since the beginning, but better late than never). Keith liked to think that this improvement was partly due to his own efforts, even if there was no way of knowing for certain.

So basically, most of Keith's old worries were gone now that he didn't feel like a social outcast. That being said, he'd never expected to have new problems replace his old ones.

Like the one- actually, two- standing in a puddle in the doorway.

"Lance, what mess did you get yourself into?" Keith asked, looking at the shivering ball of drenched fur he held in his arms.

"I know it's sudden- but I just couldn't _leave_ him, Keith! He was practically dying!" Lance said, still holding on protectively. And Keith knew that was true, because Lance was one of those people that could throw themselves in front of a car if it meant saving an animal nobody cared for. It was stupid and reckless, but again, that was part of what Keith liked about Lance.

"Okay, before we decide anything come in and change your clothes- your fingertips are almost blue" he noted, examining Lance from up close. "Idiot. What if you got hypothermia?"

"I won't, and you shouldn't be thinking of me" Lance answered, glancing at what he held in his arms, which he held out towards Keith. He nodded, taking Lance's jacket.

"Go change. I'll patch him up in the meantime".

He said this looking at the first brown cat he'd ever seen in his life.

***

"Do you know what you're going to name him yet?" Keith asked, watching the kitten eat from the can of tuna they'd opened for him. He already looked way better after having taken a bath.

Lance shifted beside him.

"I thought you wouldn't let me keep him".

"It's like you said- we can't leave him to rot in the streets" Keith answered."He's not even a couple of months old and his ribs are already showing".

His eyes hadn't left the cat, but he could feel Lance looking at him. How, he did not know, and it was killing him.

"I- Thank you, Keith" Lance said, smiling softly. "This means a lot to me".

"You shouldn't" he answered. _Too dry!_ "Uh- thank me, I mean. I've always had a soft spot for cats, you know. Shiro has one. He quickly became part of my family when I... yeah".

He was expecting the usual uncomfortable silence to follow, but instead Lance's eyes brightened and he turned towards him.

"Keith, would you like to share him with me?" he said, wearing his cutest smile.

"You'd do that?" Keith asked. It seemed a move too sweet for Lance.

"Of course! I can already tell you're going to help a lot regardless of who it belongs to, plus you live here too, and... And we are also your family." He blushed, and hurried. "I mean- not as in brothers or anything 'cause that would be weird- but you can always count on us for support and protection- not like you need it! So...".

"You're really bad at this" Keith noted, touched all the same.

"Ugh, I know, asshole. I'm trying to be nice here" he said, clearly frustrated. Keith considered, but with Lance being this human, he really didn't need to.

"I'd love to".

Lance thought he'd misheard for a moment.

"Huh?"

"I said I'd love too" Keith repeated, enunciating each word. "That's... very kind of you."

Lance puffed out his chest at the praise, all remaining embarrassment poofing into thin air.

"Of course it is! Leave it to Lance McClain and he'll melt everybody's heart!"

"But I still think you should get to name him" Keith said. So much for the boasting- one simple phrase and Lance was back to being a softie.

"Really? Don't you think you should also get a say on the matter?" he asked.

"You've already been kind enough offering to share him with me, and let's not forget you're the reason he's here at all. I think you deserve to choose his name".

Lance gave him another smile, and looked back at the cat, who had finished his meal and was curling up in the corner.

"Allan" he said. "I want to call him Allan for short".

"It suits him." Keith agreed. " But what's his full name then?"

"Allan Edgar Paw" Lance said, grinning like an idiot. Keith was about to take back what he'd said earlier when Lance added:"Ok ok- let me explain myself first! I like his work and I love puns, so why can't I have both?"

"Lance, think of all the times you've pitied kids with bad names. Do you really want to be that kind of parent?" he asked, raising a brow.

"Hmm... You have a point" Lance admitted. Neither of them spoke for a while after that, busying themselves with the tedious task of naming something important.

"How about Aslan?" Lance suggested. "I was a huge Narnia fan when I was a kid, and it sits hin. He may look scrawny and weak, but he has the inner fire of a lion".

Keith shrugged. "It's kinda cheesy, but I guess it represents him".

He earned a punch in the shoulder- which, to be fair, he deserved.

"It's gorgeous and perfect, just like him!"

Keith couldn't deny that.

"Aslan it is".

 

They sat quietly together, looking at their new pet yawn silently and stretch. They watched as Aslan moved to a corner and squatted, making them realise a minor detail a little too late.

"What to do about the poop?" Keith asked. "Should I stop him?"

"I don't know, I've had a cat before!" Lance answered, tripping on his words.

At this point Keith was panicking like a parent with heir first child.

"I thought you had three cats back at home?" It was something he'd learnt through Lance's videos, but neither of them noticed.

"Yeah, but I took care of vacuuming the fur! I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do here! Kitty litter, maybe?"

"Lance, we don't _have_ any kitty litter!"

 By the time Pidge and Hunk were back from a very late study session at the library they found Keith searching something frantically on his laptop, Aslan dozing off in Lance's lap.

 

"See? They've even adopted a child now- there's no denying the pining, Hunk" she whispered to his ear. As they got closer however, she was attacked by two very nervous boys.

 

"Pidge, do you know the best litter brand?"

"Should get him anti-flea shampoo or regular and an anti-flea collar?"

"Do you know where we can get his ID done?"

"Is he old enough to be eating tuna? Oh my God, what if we've poisoned him?" Lance cried out, clenching his hair . Hunk reached out to comfort him.

 

"Guys, relax. I think I've missed out on something, but if he comes from the streets he must be one tough cookie."

Pidge flopped onto the couch, exhausted.

"Just go to the quiznaking pet shop- it closes in half an hour".

"Alright, Keith, this is our first test as responsable parents!" Lance exclaimed, almost forgetting that there was a cat in his lap. Aslan rolled off and nearly dropped to the ground, but was caught by Lance in a reflex action.

"Drop him and you're dead to me" Pidge warned, taking Aslan from him and cooing. "Come to Auntie Pidge!"

"Thank you Pidge, we owe you" Keith said, hurrying into his jacket. "We'll be back in forty minutes tops!"

 

They took an hour, but once they were able to place Aslan in his bed, it was all worth it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scrapped material: "Keith, I have an idea (no pun intended). Would you like to share him with me?" he beamed.
> 
> I've kept my promise and that's all that matters XD
> 
> I was so excited to write this chapter because, unlike the pancakes, Aslan was always meant to be part of this series, from the very start. Of course, I couldn't just go straight in with the kitty, which is why he appears in chapter 6 and not earlier. 
> 
> I'll confess I've never read my fanfic whole, so I'm pretty sure that the rhythm is all messed up- sorry about that. However, hopefully I'll improve over time so thank you for bearing with me! This chapter is a little shorter, but Ive done what I can sinceI'm travelling again.
> 
> That's all for this week. Thanks for sticking by! (I'm slightly disappointed that a confession on Lance's birthday would happe way too soon in my fic but hey- we still have Keith's!)
> 
> -pinkegg


End file.
